Just Friends

7th class didn't start the way school years are supposed to start.

By then, I had already stopped trying to make real friendships. Not because I hated people or wanted to be alone. There was a reason behind it, but that's a story for another day.

Then, in 6th grade, I had my second surgery.

Because of that, I missed almost half of the school year. While everyone else was busy with classes, homework, exams, and normal school life, I was spending my time in hospitals.

Sometimes people think missing school sounds fun.

It isn't.

At first, it feels like a break.

Then slowly, you realize that life keeps moving without you.

When I finally returned to school in the middle of 7th grade, everything had already changed.

Groups had formed.

People had their own friends.

Their own jokes.

Their own stories.

And I wasn't part of any of them.

Most days, I stayed quiet.

I didn't talk much.

I kept to myself.

Honestly, I hated going to school. Every morning, I tried to think of reasons not to go.

The worst part wasn't being alone.

The worst part was listening to people act like I chose it.

Some classmates used to say that I was taking advantage of my condition.

As if surgeries were some kind of vacation.

As if pain came with benefits.

I never really argued with them.

Because what's the point?

You can't explain something like that to people who have never lived through it.

Even the teachers felt distant.

Not because they were bad people.

They just didn't know me.

In schools, teachers usually remember the students who are extremely good or extremely troublesome.

I was neither.

I was just another average student sitting somewhere in the classroom.

Just... there.

And then, somewhere in all of that, I met a girl.

I still don't know why I noticed her.

Maybe because she felt easy to be around.

Or maybe because she was simply hard to forget.

She had shoulder-length black hair. Not brown, not dark brown—proper black. She was shorter than me and had fair skin. There was also a small mark on her face that somehow made her look even prettier.

I've always thought little things like that make people memorable.

Years later, I still remember that mark.

Maybe because she talked to me when most people didn't.

Maybe because I needed a friend more than I realized.

We met around September.

After that, we started spending a lot of time together.

Nothing dramatic happened.

We just talked.

Sat together.

Shared random conversations.

The kind of friendship that slowly becomes part of your routine without you even noticing.

For the first time in a long time, school didn't feel completely empty.

I started looking forward to seeing her.

I started going to school for reasons other than attendance.

And somewhere along the way, I got emotionally attached.

I genuinely thought we could become best friends.

When 8th grade started, on 4th April, I asked her,

"Tu meri best friend banegi?"

She smiled and said yes.

I still remember that moment.

We were sitting in the playground.

The weather was nice.

The wind was cool.

Nothing special was happening.

But somehow that memory stayed with me.

The next day she was absent.

And on that same day, section shuffling happened.

I got moved to 8th I.

She got moved to 8th H.

Just like that.

One day we were sitting together.

The next day we weren't.

No fight.

No argument.

No ending.

Just distance.

For the next few months, we barely saw each other.

Even after that, we only met occasionally.

Maybe ten times during the entire year.

Most of those meetings lasted less than a minute.

We would see each other.

Smile.

And keep walking.

Sometimes I wondered if she still remembered that conversation in the playground.

Sometimes I wondered if she even remembered being my best friend.

Then came 9th grade.

Things became even more distant.

We only met three times that entire year.

The third time is the one I remember the most.

One of my friends saw her and jokingly said,

"Ohhhhhh best friend milne aayi hai."

She immediately replied,

"Main iski best friend nahi hu. Hum bas friend hai."

That's all she said.

Nothing more.

But for some reason, it felt like someone had quietly pulled the floor from underneath me.

I laughed.

I smiled.

I quickly said,

"Arey ye log pagal hai. Inki baat mat sun. Hum toh bas dost hai."

I acted like it was funny.

Like it didn't matter.

Like I was okay.

But I wasn't.

Because the truth was simple.

I had cared more.

A lot more.

A few minutes later she asked,

"Theek hai tu?"

And I replied,

"Haan, hamesha ki tarah theek thaak."

Then I told her to leave because lunch was almost over.

The funny thing is that lunch wasn't almost over.

There was still plenty of time left.

But if she had stayed there even one minute longer, I probably would have cried.

And I've never liked crying in front of people.

Especially in front of someone who doesn't know how much they mean to you.

That was the last real conversation I remember having with her.

I haven't seen her in years.

I don't know where she is now.

I don't know what she's doing.

But wherever she is, I hope she's doing okay.

She's probably forgotten me by now.

And honestly, maybe that's normal.

Some people become memories for us while we become memories for them.

Looking back, I don't think the thing that hurt me the most was hearing her say,"Hum bas friend hai."

I think what hurt was realizing that the friendship I carried in my heart and the friendship she carried in hers were completely different.

For me, she was someone important.

For her, I was probably just a friend.

And honestly, I can't even blame her for that.

She never promised me the things I imagined.

I was just the one who cared more.

The strange thing is that this wasn't the last time it happened.

It keeps happening.

I get attached too quickly.

I make people special too quickly.

Every single time, I tell myself that this friendship will be different.

Every single time, I tell myself that this person won't become another memory.

And every single time, I end up caring more than I planned to.

Maybe that's my biggest flaw.

Or maybe it's just the way I am.

I still don't know.

What I do know is that some people stay in your memory for years, even if they were only there for a short time.

And sometimes, the people who leave the deepest marks on us are the ones who never realize how important they were in the first place.